I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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