Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
