I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
