You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
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