i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He passed out mid-signature
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
