I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
