Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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