I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
