Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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