He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
You left your phone here
Wait...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
