YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
