put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
