You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
