Duck Duck Cougar?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
