What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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