we made out on top of his cat.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
