so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
