my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
