i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
