is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
