No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
organizing the empties. That sober.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
