3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just tell him i said nine months
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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