Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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