lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
