I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
