your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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