I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
