you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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