Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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