I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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