I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
