i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
