I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
