I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
PANTIES FOUND
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
