My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
