So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
