stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
