Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You ate ashes out of my bong
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
