you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
