i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
