I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
