she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
