Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
