we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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