is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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