so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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