I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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