Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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