So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I stole a fireplace last night.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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