We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
